Mindset

Mindset

A lot of factors play into our success, or lack of it. However, one overriding factor of our success, and arguably the most critical is our mindset. Success is 9% hard work, 1% luck and 90% about our mental state. If you choose to be successful, the first and most important thing to start working on is yourself…and this should continue for the rest of your life. Growth sets us up for continued success in our life, in our relationships, in business, in all aspects. If we are not growing, we are dieing. Our continued growth helps us face adversity and overcome it, build and maintain amazing relationships, have a positive and contagious attitude.

Attitude

 

“Your attitude will determine your altitude” – Zig Zigler.

 

Your Attitude

My alarm goes off, it’s 6am, do I throw my legs out of bed, jumping to my feet with a smile on my face, or do I throw my legs out of bed, groaning, and thinking….

I am driving in the traffic, someone cuts me off, do I wave forgivingly at them and offer them a friendly smile, or do I lay on the horn, swearing through the windows at them…

I turn up to work thinking I am surely going to get that promotion, only to find out someone in another department was offered the position. Do I congratulate them and support them in their new role, or do I whinge and complain about how unfair the decision was…

Everyday we are thrown challenges, some are simply everyday hassles and inconveniences, and some are significant, life changing events. How do we handle them? Can we choose the way we think and feel? Can people affect the way we think and feel?

Of course, when life happens, both good and bad, this can affect the way we feel. However, our response to these situations is a choice, and therefore, what I have learned is, my attitude is my choice.

Relationships

The greatest contributor to my success and that of my businesses has been my ability to relate to other people. What I have discovered is this; successful people get along with people or more simply, people won’t go along with you if they can’t get along with you.

Most people can trace their successes and failures to the relationships in their lives. As I’ve talked with people, and as I have worked with people, I have found that almost everybody will look at their successes and failures and say, “It was attached to a relationship that I had within my life.”

It is with this understanding that I have devoted my life to learning and growing in the area of relationships and people. I have read hundreds of books, including ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’, ‘Relationships 101’, ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’, ‘The Five Love Languages’ and many more. Growing in the area of relationships is critical to your success and my success.

Focussing on other people and building relationships with other people, has lead me to some pretty amazing people, including, Terry Hawkins, Prime Minister’s, Les Brown, John Maxwell, Jack Delosa, Andrew Morello, The Federal Treasurer, NSW Premier’s and many more. They say that you are the average of the seven people you spend the most amount of time with – I make it my goal in life to spend time with people who are way smarter, richer, more successful and happier than myself. By doing so, I lift myself up to their standards, way of thinking, and their circles of influence.

I have learned that in the area of relationships, there are a number of key factors.

1. Accept Yourself for Who You Are

The one relationship that we have for life is with ourselves, yet some of us never learn to get along with ourselves! Think about this, if you can’t get along with yourself, how are you going to get along with other people? I believe that this is a common issue with people who have relationship issues. People who are always focussed on themselves, can’t focus on other people. When you are not focussing on others, you can’t build long term, lasting and fulfilling relationships.

2. Be Likeable

It takes energy to be likeable, and put energy into being likeable. This is an ongoing process, but the more you try, the easier it is, and the better the relationships you will have. People who put energy into being likeable focus on other people, they ask questions and listen to the answers. I make it a point to always smile at people. I smile at strangers in the street, my team, my family and everyone I meet. Why? When you smile at people, it breaks down barriers, people naturally are inclined to smile back AND the act of smiling releases endorphins into your bloodstream – it actually makes you feel happy!

3. Remember People’s Names

On my honeymoon, I read a book called ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’, by Dale Carnegie. It is an amazing book and a must read for any potential leader. As I do when I am reading a book, I share everything I am learning with person nearest me. There was a principle in the book that encouraged you to learn people’s names and use them. Being that I wa son my honeymoon, I convinced my wife that we were going to see this in action throughout our honeymoon. Isn’t that what everyone does on their honeymoon? Anyway, so every bar staff, waiter, attendant, room service person we came across, we found out their name, we remembered it and we used it each time we saw them. As you can imagine, the service we received was unbelievable and people went to extreme lengths for us, it was incredible. But most of all, you could see in people’s faces, how valued they felt, when someone, who didn’t have to, took the effort to remember something as simple as their name.

Now, remembering people’s names is not easy, right? I am sure that everyone has had numerous experiences where we simply couldn’t put a name to the face. The key is that when you remember and use people’s names, it shows you value them and they will value you in return.

4. He Who Speaks Least Wins

Have you ever been with someone and all they did was talk at you, never asked you a single question, and all they did was talk about themselves? How did you feel? Did you feel disconnected, unengaged, and unvalued? If you are serious about building lasting and fulfilling relationships, you need to ask questions and listen, ask questions and listen and ask more questions and listen. When you focus on other people and their interests, and engage with them on this, you show people you are interested in them, you care about them and you value them. People that ask questions, listen and do the least talking, build amazing relationships. Next time you are with someone, try to NOT talk about yourself. If you are asked a question, reply back with a sentence and then ask them a question. The person who does the least talking wins!

5. Be Agreeable

Look for the right in every situation, find ways you can agree with other people, and for lasting relationships, give 100% of your effort to this. What do most people do? They find the things they don’t agree on and give this 100% of their effort. Some people just love to argue, but if you want to be successful in your relationships, you need to find the things you agree on and give this 100% of your focus. I’ve found that if you focus on what you can agree on, common ground begins to increase.

My daughter Beth is very left brained, which makes her very analytical and very precise. A downfall for her, if she lets it, is that she has to correct others. Things have their order and they need to be done and said correctly. She had a habit of correcting others, much to her brother and sister’s annoyance. Now she is only young, so we need to give her some slack, but we have also pointed out to her that she has a choice – she can be right, or she can be happy. She can be right or have friends. To her credit she makes a positive effort with this every day.

Being in retail and customer service we occasionally have customers that have an issue and want it addressed. I am sure you have heard of the saying the ‘customer is always right’, well we disagree with this. This isn’t common ground, this is basically patronising for customers. Our mandate with every team member is – who’s right, who’s wrong who cares! It is not important to us who is in the right, it is important to solve the problem so that everyone is happy – AND if the customer is happy so are we!

6. Always Grow in the Area of Relationships

Never stop growing in the area of relationships. Relationships are key to your success in life and business. Follow the keys to amazing and lasting relationships above and you will get better and better in this area, and all areas of your life will improve, ignore them and face the consequences! Seek out resources to help and support you. We have a great recommended reading list on our website, as well as a relationship assessment you can do. Jump on and see where you can improve and where you excel in the area of relationships.